Just to be patriotic we begin a new feature here at Spork where we highlight (low light?) the political candidates going into (and after) the Iowa caucus. (Interesting word there, since it pretty much tells what the politicians have done to us for years.) Tonight we will cover wthe weiners, err I mean winners.

Socialist Party: Barack Obama - To be honest, from everything I know and/or have heard about him, all I know is he wants "change". Change is good -- though you can change both for the better and for the worse. This is probably more my issue for just not paying enough attention. All I can say is this dude feels likeable and believable, which is uncommon for a politician.

Rupugnantcans: Mike Huckabee - I think this guy's past pretty much tells us everything about him and everything about what we should expect. This guy's history is that he was a sleazy used car salesman. He sold crap to people that they didnt want or need. The crap was junk. He appealed to the insecurities and emotions of his customers in order to manipulate them into buying his unbuyable junk. [EDIT] I have just been informed that he actually wasnt a used car salesman. He was a Baptist preacher. So I should correct that here. Everything else pretty much stands as is. [Further Edit a couple days later] It really bothers me that folks want to consider someone who's main draw is his religion. What I mean here is that pretty much every person ever elected in our lifetime was a christian, but were not elected on the basis of that fact. A president's duty is to the constitution, not to a "higher power" and our current fearless leader has made it absolutely clear that the higher power comes first. All you have to do to realize just how wrong this is is to look at other countries that have made this choice and put religion into their government: Iran, Iraq, Afghanistan. (This list could be long.) It doesnt matter that it is a different religion... the fact that religion is ruling is enough. Politics will corrupt the religion... and religion will corrupt the politics. There is a damn good reason why they have been historically separate and should stay that way.