Friday, January 30, 2009

ANNOUNCEMENT: First sporadically periodic photo captioning contest!

I would call it "first annual." But there are a bunch of things wrong with that. The obvious is the picky gripe that the first in a series is not the "first annual." There actually has to be 2 of them to qualify. (I am still guilty on that charge.) Secondly, annual seems like a long ass time. And third: I find it really hard to tie myself down to a calendar based schedule. It just is not me. Maybe it should be the "first occasional." I don't know -- but its the first, anyway.

The prize: bragging rights that you are, in fact, the wiener.
The reason: I saw this at The Walmarts1 parking lot. The absolute flood of smartass captions to this photo was so huge that I thought my head might actually asplode. I had to sit right down, set my milk on the asphalt and breathe into the plastic bag to settle down my hyperventilation.
The rules: Rules? Why do we need rules. It's not like there's a real prize or anything. Enter as often as you like. Have your friends, relatives, pets, enemies and livestock enter. I don't care. It is a blank canvas. Please scrawl on it with spray paint like you're spraying graffiti. Pull up your damn pants. Besides, if there were rules, I would probably change them as the contest went along...

The photo

Ah, the Jesus Gas Cap. My god, it's beautiful. And Jesus must be so honored to be proudly displayed here... in a place of honor.

Let me get you started:
  • Jesus cries every time you use fossil fuels: Dinosaur juice doesn't exist and the world is 6000 years old. Drive a horse.
By the way: I am still waiting on the "Bathtub Jesus" photos that were promised to me so so long ago.

1If you live in the country, you absolutely must pronounce it this way. It must be preceded by 'the' and must be plural. Period.


Anonymous said...

"Please don't slam the door. It gives me gas."

Very lame, sorry.

Kari said...

"Blessed are the Jeep-makers."

"These fumes are giving me such a headache I'm about to take my own name in vain."

Og Make Blog said...

"Dead guy on your gas cap? SHAM-WOW!"

"Starring Josh Brolin, as Jesus of Nazareth."

"You idiot! When I said I wanted a picture of the King I meant Elvis!!"

"Higher Power octane - look for it at a Premium pump near you."

"Now your ridin' with the King..." - sorry BB.

"Powered by the Lord."

"Jesus is my pump jockey."

"What Would Jesus Drive?"

"The wages of Sin will never pay your carbon tax."

"Jesus Huffing Christ."

"Christ for Carbon."

"Jesus shed his blood for oil."

"Jesus got tanked."

"Tank it up for Jesus."

"Jesus! Look how much gas costs!"

"Soon it will cost your first born for a tank of gas."

"Jesus Saves - for gas."

"Tither in the tank." - sponsored by Exxon and Lispers for the Lord.

"The Son is in my eyes."

"Lord on Board."

"Holy rolling stock, Batman."

"Intel (ligent designer) inside."

"Shhhh... he's sleeping."

lastly ...
when placed upon the gas cap of Spork's TR-6:

"The roar of his Triumph was heard throughout the valley."

Og Make Blog said...

After having to re-write all those from memory, I knew one would be missed:

"King of the Road."

There.. that's a nice round 25 entries. 'Nuff for tonight.

Og Make Blog said...

Crap... one more....

"I brake for bread."

Spork In the Eye said...

shouldn't that be "I break for bread" Or even "I break for bread... and fishes. No winers"

But I guess you see what I mean: There are way too many smartass tags here.

Do I make you thorny?
Gas prices make me cross.
You idiot! I said anoint my head with OIL.

There are also all sorts of possibilities with Jesus/Buddha hybrids.

Anonymous said...


Og Make Blog said...

Two more ... although it seems no one is playing....

"The gov't. forgave the carmakers, now Jesus forgives the carmakers. You should, too. Buy our crap."

"The Lord is on my Ford."