Thursday, November 13, 2008

Can I be like everybody else? Please?

In a nonconformist attempt to be just like everybody else, here is my Omnivore's List.... as stolen from Ellie Mae. You could follow the stolen chain back to the beginning of time itself. In fact, I bet there is a cave wall somewhere with vague paintings on it... and a big X through haggis.

In general, I am pretty darn adventurous when it comes to food... though obviously I haven't made my way through the entire buffet. If you make it through the whole list, and the check comes, does that mean life is done?

If I counted right, my score is 72%.

1. Venison - outside of the backstrap, I don't get it. By the time you pay for the lease, the processing, the pork you have to mix in to make it palatable, the gun, the ammo and the multiple cases of beer you drink while on the lease -- this is probably the highest price per pound meat out there. Especially if you just eat the backstrap.
2. Nettle tea - sure, I'd try it. But what's the point?
3. Huevos rancheros - and stop right here if you've never had it. You're life was wasted. It's over. Go home.
4. Steak tartare - I am forever perplexed by folks that are icked out by rare or raw meat. The more it's cooked, the less you taste it. It's all in your head. Your mom overcooked it and so do you. My steaks hit the grill for the sole reason that I like the smoky charred outside -- not because I want them cooked. (And smoky taste only comes from wood. Not from icky charcoal or propane or propane accessories.) If you don't like them cold then let them warm up to room temperature first.
5. Crocodile - I am assuming alligator doesn't count as a substitution
6. Black pudding - quit squirming. Its good.
7. Cheese fondue - This is just on the list to keep people from scoring a 0.
8. Carp - I've had better fish.
9. Borscht
10. Baba ghanoush
11. Calamari - the tastiest fried rubber bands you will find
12. Pho - god I miss pho.
13. PB&J sandwich - my neices now have scored a 2.
14. Aloo gobi - had to look it up, but yeah I recognize it from the Indian buffet. Speaking of missing a food you can't get around here....
15. Hot dog from a street cart
16. Epoisses - the fact that I had to look it up and still wasn't sure makes me think I haven't had it. Though I've been through a good portion of the Central Market cheese wall.
17. Black truffle - nope. The foodie in me wants to try it. The cheapskate passes.
18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes
19. Steamed pork buns - Hey, those are right next door to the Pho place.
20. Pistachio ice cream
21. Heirloom tomatoes
22. Fresh wild berries
23. Foie gras
24. Rice and beans
25. Brawn or head cheese - like Ellie Mae said: She bought it, but on a day I came home sick. It's not that I wouldnt try it -- but not when I am queesy.
26. Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper - give me a jalepeno or a serano any day. There isn't any flavor in these things, just heat.
27. Dulce de leche
28. Oysters - Can I get a #58 with this please?
29. Baklava
30. Bagna cauda - sounds good
31. Wasabi peas
32. Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl
33. Salted lassi - sounds like it is missing gin
34. Sauerkraut
35. Root beer float
36. Cognac with a fat cigar - Not a big tobacco fan
37. Clotted cream tea
38. Vodka jelly/Jell-O
39. Gumbo
40. Oxtail
41. Curried goat - the other other white meat
42. Whole insects - not on purpose. I don't think accidentally swallowing counts
43. Phaal - I'm guessing no. I've had my share of hot curry dishes, but I don't think I've had this one.
44. Goat's milk
45. Malt whisky from a bottle worth £60/$120 or more - Ellie Mae says Glenmorangie 18 counts. It didn't cost that much then, but... inflation.
46. Fugu - Homer likes it
47. Chicken tikka masala
48. Eel
49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut - You'd better not say yes to this unless a guy with a paper hat hands you one on a stick right out of the fryer. A cold one doesn't count. A grocery store box of KK's actually should count -1.
50. Sea urchin
51. Prickly pear - maybe
52. Umeboshi
53. Abalone
54. Paneer
55. McDonald's Big Mac Meal
56. Spaetzle - Ellie Mae even bought one of them there spaetzle makers from Amazon.
57. Dirty gin martini - the only way to drink them. And I am so damned tired of ordering a martini and having the waiter say "vodka or gin martini?" It's a martini. There made from gin. If I wanted a vodka martini, I would have ordered one, okay? Or maybe I would have just sucked the diesel fuel out of a car in the parking lot.
58. Beer above 8% ABV - This could be phrased "have you been outside of the USA?"
59. Poutine - I was going to say no until I looked it up. It's okay, though soggy gravied fries are probably an acquired taste
60. Carob chips
61. S'mores
62. Sweetbreads
63. Kaolin - am I missing the point?
64. Currywurst - want
65. Durian
66. Frogs' legs - if it tastes like chicken, but requires me to hunt on a boat in the middle of a night with a pointy stick, only to get a couple of bites -- why don't I just have chicken?
67. Beignets, churros, elephant ears or funnel cake
68. Haggis - I had my chance in Scotland and didn't. I would like to try it, but I don't think I want to commit my entire meal to it.
69. Fried plantain
70. Chitterlings, or andouillette - hey that andouillette sounds tasty.
71. Gazpacho
72. Caviar and blini - Maybe I've not had "the good stuff". It's not awful, but from what I had -- I didn't see what the fuss was about.
73. Louche absinthe
74. Gjetost, or brunost - yeah, I had to try it due to Ellie Mae's Norwegian heritage. I'll pass next time.
75. Roadkill
76. Baijiu
77. Hostess Fruit Pie - blech
78. Snail - this is on my list. Too many people love the little critters. Butter/garlic sponges. How bad could that be?
79. Lapsang souchong - hard to get excited over tea
80. Bellini
81. Tom yum
82. Eggs Benedict
83. Pocky
84. Tasting menu at a three-Michelin-star restaurant
85. Kobe beef
86. Har - I am guessing this means Har Gow
87. Goulash
88. Flowers
89. Horse - translation: if you've been to Sweden and had anything with "ground meat" in it, that is not the same as "ground beef"
90. Criollo chocolate
91. Spam
92. Soft shell crab
93. Rose harissa - Ellie Mae - get on it.
94. Catfish
95. Mole poblano
96. Bagel and lox
97. Lobster Thermidor
98. Polenta
99. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee
100. Snake


LogoGirl said...

you actually looked everything up? That alone makes you UNLIKE everyone else. lol

thanks for the links

Spork In the Eye said...

I had to look them up... A few of the ones I didnt know were actually a "yes" on the list.

Og Make Blog said...

What? No morcilla? OK, maybe black pudding will substitute.

Spork In the Eye said...

I had to look morcilla up on wikipedia... and it landed on the black puddin' page. So I guess it counts.

I quite liked it.

Og Make Blog said...

Blech! Sweetbreads and intestine are much better. Morcilla is just sticky/bland/horrible texture to me. I couldn't recommend it. Sweetbreads were tasty enough, but the whole thymus issue lingered in the back of my mind. The intestine is quite good.

Knocked down all three in one night in Argentina.

At least you haven't salted down Lassie. What would Arlo think?

Spork In the Eye said...

maybe the Scottish version is better. After all, I thought all sausage was good sausage... until England.