Saturday, November 27, 2010

the Parable

I have decided the parable has become a lost literary art. I would like to revive it.

There was once a geeky guy named Zeke. Yes, he was Zeke the Geek. He tended to sometimes be a little shy and sometimes had difficulty talking to and meeting girls. Yet, he was an intelligent, successful guy in his own way. He wasn't overly wealthy, but he did alright.

One day he was sitting at home alone, petting his dog Muskrat. He thought to himself "Zeke," (because he often addressed himself by his first name when he talked to himself), "you need to get out more. You should go to a nice bar and have a drink amongst the company of humans."

And so, Zeke did. He picked a very nice quiet bar with lots of mohagany and walnut. Zeke walked right up and sat on a prominant stool and ordered himself a Gin and Tonic. Yes, this was nice. This was living.

It wasn't long until a very attractive dark haired beauty walked into the bar. There were barstools everywhere... and yet, to his surprise, she sat right by him. She ordered herself a wine fizzleflop and slowly sipped on the straw.

There were glances. Smiles. She eventually spoke to him.

"My name is Allison."

"Hi, I am Zeke."

They started talking. Oddly enough they had things in common.

Allison, like Zeke was sort of an oddball geek. She was into computers. She liked dogs. She was a little shy.

At one point, the conversation turned to cars. Zeke loved cars. He giggled and said "My favorite all time car ever is an Aston-Martin. I'd do anything to get a chance to drive a DB-9. It would make me feel just like James Bond."

"No way. I have a DB-9."

Zeke just laughed. "Oh, yeah, like you have one parked right outside."

Allison was a little defensive. "I do, in fact."

"You have a $180,000 car parked outside?"

"Sure. I've done really well writing computer games. And I inherited a ton of money from my uncle. I'd even let you drive it if you really want."

"You're serious?"

"Yes," she said, drawing the keys out of her purse. The winged Aston Martin insignia could be seen on a prominent key. Smiling, Allison handed him the key ring and said, "Drive it around for about 30 minutes. Have fun."

Zeke was smiling like a child. He was giddy.... almost woozy. He started to giggle, not believing this was happening to HIM. This was the best day ever!

"So I can just take it? And drive it around? Really?"


He stood up. His shaking hand reached out and gingerly took the key. He stood up straight and tall, full of pride and waltzed out the front door of the bar.

A few moments passed.... and then Zeke walked back in and handed the keys back to Allison.

"Is there a problem?" she asked.

"It's blue. I like red."

And with that, Zeke happily turned down a chance to drive something he had always wanted to drive and could never own. He was happy with his decision. He walked out the front door and went home to his faithful dog Muskrat.

The End

Oh, and on a totally unrelated note. I was told that in the modern dating scene men have no interest in dating women with pubic hair.