Saturday, March 29, 2008

We have a winner. Ellie Mae has successfully identified the source of the space aliens. For those of you playing at home, I'll let you stew a bit.

[Edit much later: For those of you that were unable to figure this out, here is a hint]

Friday, March 28, 2008

What the hell? Ok, I am actually serious this time. Honest. No smartass.

Probably about a year ago there was this sound outside late at night. Its really chilling. (Mostly this is because it was night and you dont know what the hell it is.) It sounds like a large dog in pain screaming every few seconds. I got the big ass spotlight out and could see eyes lit up on the ground about 300 feet away. It went on for a while and eventually my curiosity got the better of me and I started heading for it.... and it went running and disappeared into the night.

Earlier this week I hear the same thing. I mean the exact same thing. Unable to spot it. Again at night.

And now tonight I go out... a little after 11pm and I hear it. And it is right friggin behind the house (shack). I mean right there. Its loud. We grab the spotlight and I am somewhat able to record the sound with a cell phone. (I know the recording is crappy and poppy.)

This is what we know:

  • It is out at night.
  • It has reflective, forward facing eyes. The eyes appear to reflect white if that matters.
  • It is a quadruped.
  • It moves like the freaking wind when it runs.
  • It makes this creepy sound.
  • It can run through brush and leaves without making a sound.

Our best guesses:

  • Ferel pig (though I aint never heard a hog make that noise)
  • Some sort of wildcat
  • Some sort of wild canine.
  • Space aliens
  • Murderers that run on all fours
  • Demons and/or goblins
  • Domesticated hyena set free by some PETA do-gooder

Any real ideas?

Sunday, March 23, 2008

City girl drives tractor: (LGT picasa)

...or would you prefer the video (greatly scaled down). It was uploaded at 320x240. I am not sure why google tries to blow it up to where the pixels are the size of lima beans.

Attention farmboys: she's available!

Friday, March 21, 2008

Most anything related to high school is lame and those that go there dont know it. This high school event is supercool... and those that go there dont know it.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

It was a couple of weeks ago that I read about it on Fark. I think maybe I wept that night -- thinking about it. Imagine the possibility of combining two of the greatest vices ever found on planet earth (maybe 3 if I can tempt Ellie Mae into trying it.)

The process has started. In a mere 3 weeks, I will have Bacon Booze!

First off, if you are turned off by the idea, just let it percolate a little on your brain. This is the marriage of 2 wonders of the modern world. Nothing tastes better than bacon. And there's booze. And think of the medical wonders: booze is good for your heart. Bacon is bad for your heart. We are at net zero!

Thursday, March 13, 2008

I have been mulling it over all week. I have been sitting on it stewing... Its a dead horse. Every damn news outlet has flogged the Elliot Spitzer thing until it has bled, coagulated, dried up and been eaten by buzzards. And, honestly, I could give a rat's ass. The whole thing is a private matter between him and his wife. For all I know, she has known about it for years and doesnt care. I think prostitution, while not really my thing, should be legal. To say that someone doesnt have a right to her own body and what she can do for it -- that's just stupid.

So that isnt what I am stewing about. What I am stewing about -- because I am a cheap ass bastard -- is that this guy spent $80k on whores. Sure, they were high quality hookers, but still. Now I have a decent imagination -- and I can be as sick and twisted as the next guy -- but I am unable to come up with anything at all that is worth $2000/hour. Or anything that is worth $80k for several "sessions." (Let's face it. We are not talking about 80,000 $1 sessions. We are talking about a small number of sessions here.) Please tell me: What is worth $80k? Its driving me nuts.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

The problem with people that run for presidency is that the people that would be good at it are just not interested. And the type that run are surely the type you do not want.

Personally, I would like to elect the first black president.... but by that I do not mean Obama, I mean Walter Williams. As if I havent already ranted enough about how much ethanol sucks, Walter Williams has presented his own rant today.

Walter Williams for president.