Saturday, July 18, 2009

Product Review

And now, for a change of pace, I'd love to give you the latest in product reviews. Welcome to: Spork's Consumer Corner.

A little more than a month ago, when I drove to the next county to buy liquor (you know, because selling it here would be... wrong) I bought me a big jug of Seagram's Gin. Sure, Tanqueray is better. But I should remind you: I am a cheap ass bastard. Seagram's is good enough. A commonsewer I am not.

When I picked up the bottle, it was a little heavier than I expected... and out of balance. Lo and behold I noticed: the gin came with a free trial pint of what they are calling Seagram's Grape Twisted gin. Free liquor? Yes, please.

When I got home from my drive, curiosity had the better of me. I twisted the top off and poured a tiny little shot.

A sip.

Now, I've found that when reviewing a product, it's best to compare it to the competition. In general, one should go with the "best of breed" in your comparison. So, let me say that on a 5 point scale, Seagram's Grape Twisted gin is a 2, with the competition - Triaminic Cough Syrup being the proverbial 5.



Kari said...

Oh man, I was planning on re-gifting that. Now you've ruined it!

Og Make Blog said...

Ooooh.... I can see that being quite the rage here in H-town. Seems you are the incorrect demographic to appreciate it. That flavor goes much better with codeine .... but you are well on your way to gettin' on your stank wid dat purple drank. Your cough syrup description tells me it might just be a reasonable substitute for dumping in some hydrocodone if that's easier to find instead of the sissup (acetaminophen be damned!) It is a hip hop gansta favorite that originated in the 90's for those of you outside the region ... a Houston original.

I bet the clerk got a good chuckle at the checkout.

It kinda reminds me of Dave Chappelle in the Samuel Jackson lager commercial.... "It f***s you up, b***h!"

bigjohn756 said...

I have yet to find a fruit flavored liquor that tasted better than cough medicine. As a matter of fact I would love to find one that tasted as good as some medicines.