First take one stump. If you do not have a stump, we have many fine stumps to choose from here at the Stump Farm. It is best to choose a fresh stump. Hardwood is suggested. This is a fine oak specimen.
Add one chainsaw and you get a nice carved out stump.
Now take the excess sawdust and wooden bits and pieces and scatter them all around the stump. This will attract termites, drawing them into the stump.
Finally, tell your spouse you have built them a planter and tell her to plant flowers in them. The fire ants will move into the new fresh soil, attracted by the tasty termites.
See also: How to build a stump planter
High rise fire ant condos are a TradeMarked product of SporkCo Industries and The Stump Farm