Wednesday, June 25, 2008

How to build a high-rise fire ant condominium

First take one stump. If you do not have a stump, we have many fine stumps to choose from here at the Stump Farm. It is best to choose a fresh stump. Hardwood is suggested. This is a fine oak specimen.

Add one chainsaw and you get a nice carved out stump.

Now take the excess sawdust and wooden bits and pieces and scatter them all around the stump. This will attract termites, drawing them into the stump.

Finally, tell your spouse you have built them a planter and tell her to plant flowers in them. The fire ants will move into the new fresh soil, attracted by the tasty termites.
See also: How to build a stump planter

High rise fire ant condos are a TradeMarked product of SporkCo Industries and The Stump Farm


LogoGirl said...

Why should the spouse have to plant flowers? Couldn't the condo builder perform that step and present the spouse with a completed gift of love?

after all, she doesn't present you with a crust and say "pick your own berries" does she? ;)

Spork In the Eye said...

actually, yes, that is sort of how it works. Normally the berries are picked, labeled and in the fridge while she is still nestled comfy in bed with a pack of cats.