Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Any day that starts with a lawsuit cannot be a good day... It will probably cost me my life's savings.

It only gets worse when it you feel like the butt of a joke that starts "how many hours does it take to change a light bulb?"

Now, I have heard nothing but bile about British cars and their awful electrical systems. But after spending a day on an old Chevy truck (supposedly changing a light bulb) I am beginning to wish for Mr. Lucas's electrics.

A few key differences:

  • On a British car, the wires are color coded. By that I mean if there is a dark green wire (assuming the colors havent faded or the insulation hasnt crumbled and fallen away) then you can bet you have the right wire. On a chevy, green is just a convenient color. It is as if a fashion designer came in and said "wouldnt this be lovely in green". There are freaking green wires everywhere.
  • On a Chevy, if the wiring diagram says "behind dash" they mean "behind firewall". Technically if you are behind the firewall you are also behind the dash, though it seriously makes a difference if you are chasing a wire.
  • On a Chevy wiring diagram, one of the colors is marked "Tan", but that is pronounced "bright orange."
  • If you want to trace something from the fusebox in a Chevy, the wiring diagram (and the owners manual) will say "the fusebox looks a little like this, but they are all different." And the little labels on the fusebox will wear off after 25 or so years. Whereas on a Triumph, since there are only 3 fuses (and a spare!) it doesnt really matter that they arent labelled.
  • On a British car, you will have to sand the contacts behind the lights every year or two. On a Chevy, there are some impossible to remove connectors under the hood that are covered in some gunk that was probably once meant to keep it from corroding. But it turns into black crumbly sludge after exposure to heat and time.

In short, I failed my state inspection...

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